The Self-Doubt Spiral: From Momentum to “What’s the Point?” in 60 Seconds
How to keep showing up when your brain tells you it’s not worth it.
The High Before the Crash
Have you ever been riding a wave of momentum, believing in yourself, finally making progress — only to have it all unravel in the space of a few moments?
One moment I was buzzing, feeling proud of myself for finishing several blog posts and finally getting ready to share them. I opened Substack, excited to set up my page, to finally put my words into the world.
And then, without even realising it, something in me shifted.
I scrolled through other people’s blogs — polished, established, already gathering readers. The thought was barely noticeable at first:
Will anyone even read my posts?
Then came the deeper questions — some version of:
Am I good enough? Is this worth it? Am I wasting my time?
Maybe you’ve felt it too — with a new goal, a project you’ve been working on, or even a habit you’re trying to build. One moment you’re hopeful, energised, even proud of yourself… and the next, you’re questioning whether it was ever worth starting at all.
1. Have you ever felt this way?
Maybe you’ve just started a new habit or goal, full of hope and excitement — but then doubt quietly creeps in.
You start to wonder if it's the right choice. Maybe you're doing it wrong. Or what if it's not enough, or if it's just another hyperfocus that won't actually last. Perhaps it feels like your progress is too slow. Or that other people do it better. It might come as a stinging feeling that it's easier for other people. Why are you putting the effort in, when it might just fail anyway?
Maybe you’ve tried to:
Get organised, meal prep, or exercise regularly — only to hear doubt whisper, “What’s the point if I can’t keep this up?”
Set a big goal like writing a blog, launching a side hustle, or decluttering your home — and feel overwhelmed by the voice that asks, “Who am I kidding?”
Stick to a plan, but when inconsistency shows up, you think, “I’m flaky. Maybe I’m just not cut out for this.”
Celebrate a small win — like finishing a workout, writing a paragraph, or getting the laundry done — only to be shadowed by the thought, “That’s not enough. I should be doing more.”
Try to be more present with your children, but distraction and exhaustion win, and your mind quietly insists, “You’re failing them.”
Self-doubt visits all of us — especially ADHD women.
2. Inside the Spiral
It happens fast. A single doubt splinters into dozens:
There are already SO many people out there doing this - does the world really need my take on it?
Am I wasting my time here?
What if I wake up tomorrow and the momentum is gone, like all the other times?
I could be spending this time with my kids, or enjoying life instead of pouring myself into something that may never go anywhere.
Should I give up and start fresh with something else?
Or should I just give up on myself altogether?
Thinking these thoughts about my blogging causes the energy to drain out of me, leaving a heavy ache in its place.
Layered on top of all of those doubts is the haunting familiarity. I’ve been here before. The doubt whispers: See? You’re still the same. Years have passed, and here you are, still spinning your wheels.
3. The Ache of Familiarity
That’s the deepest sting — not just the fear that this effort might fail, but the painful thought that maybe I haven’t changed.
Maybe the problem is me.
Maybe you’ve felt that gut-punch too — looking back and realising the same fears and doubts were with you five years ago, ten years ago. Deadlines come and go. Projects half-finished. Habits started and then forgotten. And every time, the unspoken question: Why can’t I get it together?
4. Why ADHD Makes the Spiral Worse
Self-doubt hits everyone, but ADHD can turn it into a full-body takeover:
Fast-tracked spiralling: One stray doubt can snowball into “What’s the point?” in seconds.
Time-blindness and progress amnesia: It’s hard to see how far you’ve come; it always feels like you’re stuck in the same place.
Dopamine drought: If there’s no tangible reward or feedback, your brain loses the chemical fuel to keep going, and motivation evaporates.
Emotional intensity: Doubt lands like a gut-punch, and if it goes uninspected, it can spiral into bigger feelings that are more difficult to shake.
Shame of inconsistency: Every past project you didn’t finish resurfaces as evidence that maybe you will never complete what you set out to do.
5. Perfectionism: The Doubt Multiplier
That relentless internal voice says, “If it isn’t perfect, it’s not good enough.” The fear that others won’t like it — or that your work will fall short of some impossible standard — makes every effort feel like it’s on trial.
Perfectionism fuels doubt because it makes “good enough” feel impossible. Any small imperfection can feel like proof you shouldn’t have tried at all.
But here’s the trap: perfectionism doesn’t protect you. It paralyzes you. If you never move forward, you will never get anywhere. Progress requires imperfection. No one started perfect, and comparing your first step to someone else’s chapter ten only feeds the spiral.
When you catch this voice, try stepping back and asking:
What would “good enough for now” look like?
What’s enough to take the next step — whether it’s writing a post, doing a workout, or starting a new habit?
What if I trusted that what I’m doing is good enough and will evolve as I go?
What if I stop tying my worth to the outcome?
Imagine if you truly believed you would succeed.
What if the next step came easily, led toward the outcome you want, and felt how you want it to feel?What if you trusted that every move is progressing you toward the value and impact you desire?
Perfectionism will always whisper, but it doesn’t get to decide how far you go.
6. The Temptation to Quit
The gut-wrenching feeling makes you want to pause.
To shut the laptop.
To walk away.
Because wouldn’t that feel easier? At least in the short term.
And then the “logical” thoughts kick in to reason with the emotions. “Maybe I should start fresh with something else — something new, clean, untouched by the weight of my past failures.”
But deep down, I know that’s the trap. I’ve been here before — the endless search for the “right” thing, hoping a new beginning will silence the doubt. But then, it'll e the same story, and the same cycle: leading right back to this spot — and instead of making 100 steps of progress on one project, I’ll have made 10 steps in 10 different unfinished things — and still not have overcome the challenge of self-doubt.
7. Noticing the Spiral
This time, I tried something different: I paused long enough to actually notice what was happening, ad address it.
That moment between the first doubtful thought and the full-blown spiral is small — a few seconds, maybe — but it’s where the power lies.
When we catch it, we have a choice. Instead of letting the feelings run the show, we can ask:
Is this thought true, or just the voice of self-doubt?
If I believed without a doubt that this would work, would I still want to do it?
If I let go of the outcome entirely, do I still value the process?
Could I keep going even if the doubt stayed?
This is what we can ask ourselves in that pause. Maybe it happens when seeing someone else’s perfectly organised workspace on Instagram and suddenly feeling like your efforts don’t count. Or getting a text from a friend who just launched the business you’ve been dreaming about, and instantly questioning whether you’re already too far behind.
ADHD brains tend to take a passing feeling and run with it, treating it as fact. But when we pause, we can create a neutral understanding with our brain: “Oh, this is doubt. It’s not reality. I can feel it and still keep going.”
Noticing doesn’t erase the discomfort, but it stops the automatic slide into shame and shutdown. It’s the first step to breaking the spiral.
8. Remembering Your Why
When I looked closer, the answers for myself were clear:
I like this work.
I care about the people I’m writing for.
I want to help — even if it’s just one person who reads this and feels less alone.
The “why” behind this isn’t about numbers or instant results. Yes, I would love to grow an audience. Yes, it would be amazing if my words reached thousands. But that’s not the point.
The real reason I keep showing up is because helping even one person matters. That’s always worth the effort.
So what about you — what’s your why? It always exists - even for the smallest task.
9. Breaking the Spiral: Gentle Interruptions
Self-doubt doesn’t disappear on command. But there are ways to loosen its grip:
Catch the shift early: Notice when the doubt sets in. Name it: “This is the spiral, not the truth.”
Question it:
If I believed I would absolutely succeed, how would I feel?
If I let go of the outcome, what do I get from this process itself?
Would I keep going even if the doubt stayed?
Shrink the next step: Forget the overwhelming vision. Focus on one small action that keeps the door open.
Track and celebrate every little step as progress: Not just the big outcomes — every word written, every gentle exercise done, every micro-step counts. ADHD brains quickly forget the evidence of progress, so bring it into view: tick off the list, keep a done diary, or tell someone your win.
Pause, don’t quit: Rest if you need to, but a pause doesn't mean giving up.
Leaning In: Learning a New Way
Self-doubt will always show up when we’re doing something that matters. It means it's important to you! The goal isn’t to erase it or wait until it’s gone — it’s to keep moving with it.
Every time I notice the spiral and choose to come back, I’m slowly building the self-trust I’ve been craving all along. This is the only shift that truly changes the cycle — not walking away in frustration, not chasing a shiny new idea, not disappearing into a long pause and hoping to come back “fixed.”
The only way forward is to keep showing up, following through, and finishing the plan — and then, if the outcome still isn’t what I hoped, to tweak it instead of tossing it out. No more throwing away whole projects — or whole parts of myself — because doubt told me to.
For me, helping even one person makes the effort worth it. Writing one post, doing one small workout, taking one mindful breath today — each action is a vote for the life I’m trying to build.
Every small step forward is proof: this is how we learn to trust again.
The Takeaway
If you’ve ever wondered “Am I even getting anywhere?” you’re not alone.
Self-doubt isn’t proof that you’re failing. It’s a sign that you care.
So next time the spiral hits, ask yourself: Would I still want to do this if I knew it would succeed? And if the answer is yes — take one small step forward.
Stop the cycle, end the spiral, and learn to keep returning to the path:
When you keep moving forward, however slow, and with however many pauses, you will eventually reach the place you want to go.
ADHD doesn’t have to be this hard!
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